PREPARING FOR THE SESSION
As the facilitator/practitioner, it is very important for you to remain neutral and unattached to the clients’ story. It is extremely important to avoid becoming emotionally involved no matter how bad or traumatizing the story may be. When facilitating this exercise for a friend or family member, this is also very important and I would recommend explaining to them that even though you are my “mom, husband, son, etc”, just let go of the attachment of that just for the purposes of this moment/session and allow me to be a neutral guide. This allows your client to build trust with you. If you become emotionally involved with your client’s story then they will begin to lose trust. Ancient teachings call this technique, “becoming the hollow bone.”
Before the session, I may also explain to the client that scientific studies have shown that the brain doesn’t know the difference between experiencing the event in the mind or in real life, but it will still allow it to heal on an emotional level.
I may also teach the client the difference between making decisions from their head where they will try to analyze and judge to make up or see a vision and just allowing it to come naturally through their intuition and trusting what they see. The intuition is held in the area of the abdomen, behind the belly button and is also known as the solar plexus chakra or gut feeling. I will encourage the client to notice when they are in their head and just shift their awareness back down to the area in the abdomen.
Sometimes before the session, I will have them pull an oracle card for more clarity and guidance. Then I might gently shake a rattle over them as an extra form of clearing, this will also help to remove any form of distraction. When doing this work I have found that people will unknowingly create distractions so they don’t have to face the situation again. Sometimes I will also drum for a few minutes before we begin. Remember, this is just the way I do it. I would encourage you to make up your own way that works for you.
BEGIN THE SESSION
BY PHONE: Make sure your client is in a safe place and won’t have any distractions.
IN PERSON: Create a safe environment for you and your client whether it’s indoors or out in nature. Have all of the tools you will use ready and easily available (drum, rattles, sage, oracle cards, etc). Take a few minutes to get to know your client and build rapport and trust. Even if you already know them and have had previous sessions, this part of the process is very important. It allows them to empty their mind of all the activities of their day so far. It also allows them to get anything off of their chest before going into the session so they can become present, relaxed, and calm.
Start by smudging and clearing the energy. You can intuitively recognize the moment they begin to feel more relaxed. This is your opportunity to ask a few final questions before you begin the session.
Ask them if they have anything else they want to get off their chest before you begin the session.
Ask them if they have any questions before you begin.
By asking these two questions, you build trust and you are making it clear that you are about to actually begin the session.
BEGIN THE EMOTIONAL RECOVERY PROCESS (6 steps)
1. Coaching, identify what needs to be healed
2. Locate where they are carrying it in the body
3. Remember the first time
4. Return to the scene
5. Coming home
6. Integrity restored
1. Coaching, Identify what needs to be healed
Start with the basics of a life coaching session by using the seven basic questions unless of course your client knows exactly what they want to heal or work on. Coaching just allows you and them to get clear on the problem or emotion that needs healing.
Ask your client to explain any physical or emotional symptoms that they are experiencing even if they don’t think the problem is related.
Here you are listening for keywords, triggers, and any emotions that come up. This can also help identify what needs healing. The most common emotions or feelings are anger, fear, sadness, confusion, frustration, disappointment, guilt, shame, regret and the feeling of not being good enough.
Once you identify what needs healing, have your client get into a comfortable position, usually laying down is best because sitting up takes effort and you want them to be as relaxed as possible. Have them close their eyes and let them know they will remain in complete control for the session and that they are safe. I will have them focus on sounds in nature or if I am in a room, I will put on some type of relaxing soft music and have them just focus on that for a minute or so.
Now, while they are completely relaxed and in somewhat of an altered state of consciousness you may begin the process.
2. Locate where they are carrying it in their body
Ask your client to allow their body to show them where they are carrying this. Have them give it a color and a shape. Then once they do, have them thank their body for showing them and being so willing to look at this and heal it today. Most commonly they will see a darker color and a hardened or pointy shape. For example a black or dark grey rock or a dark green murky mist or sludge. Often it is also described as a black circle.
3. Remember the first time
Ask your client if they can remember when they first noticed the problem starting. Then ask them if they can remember when they first started noticing the symptoms. How old were they? Is that the very first time they can recall? It is most important to remember the very first time they remember feeling this way. It is usually between the ages of three and nine but could be at any age. Sometimes it could have started in the womb or it could have been more recent.
Sometimes the client won’t remember the very first time they felt the feeling or emotion but they definitely will remember a more recent time. If this is the case, just have them start there. Then once healing the recent time, they may easily be more able to remember the very first time.
This can often be the toughest part of the session because they have done such a good job for so long of NOT trying to remember because they don’t want to feel it again. Just gently explain to them that in order to heal it they have to feel it again, at least one last time. This is where you might get the most resistance from them, but don’t give up. keep trying.
Give them time to remember and have them describe what happened. From here, it can lead to the thing that needs healing the most.
4. Return to the scene
Once your client is able to recall the event, have them describe it to you. Where did it take place? Who was there? Who wasn’t there that was suppose to be? Sometimes the story can be extremely terrible and traumatic, you as the coach/facilitator are to remain neutral and not become invested emotionally. Do not even show sympathy or any emotion. They trust you to guide them and to not become a part of their pain.
Ask them how old they were when it happened.
Now, have them as they are now, arrive back on that scene and take their younger self or little boy or girl by the hand and look them in the eyes and explain to them that they are going to be okay, they are there from the future and have come back now to help them heal this and safely bring them home.
Now have your client ask the younger self to describe how they are feeling and what is happening. In most cases, there is someone who is causing the pain or trauma. Identify who that is. It is most commonly a close relative but can also just be anyone.
Now, have the adult-self give the younger-self permission to have a voice and speak up and tell this person what they would have wanted to tell them back then. How they made them feel, what this did to them and how they are still carrying it today. Here is their opportunity to feel the emotion to the fullest. Get everything off of their chest and just unload.
When your client is finished telling this person everything they wanted them to know, have them now see through to the spirit or higher self of the other person and describe how the person feels now as they learn how badly they traumatized them. Usually, they will describe them as feeling sad, regretful, guilt and shame. The other person will often start to cry in the vision as they learn how they made your client feel.
Now have your client ask them why they did it. Here you will have your client really search for the truth, the real reason this person did what they did. Sometimes it’s because of what they went through as a child and didn’t know better. Search for deep understanding.
As your client learns the real truth, they may begin to have compassion for the other person and naturally, as humans, we don’t want to see another human suffer so this is your opportunity to have your client forgive the other person.
Have your client let the other person know that they don’t want them to hurt either and that they are there today to forgive them and release them of this as well. Have your client take them by the hands and look them in the eyes and say out loud, “I forgive you and I release you today.”
Sometimes it will take a moment for your client to say this. Just allow them to take their time and hold space. Once they say this and really feel it, then it automatically releases them. You may notice your client has some relief now. Have them feel how good it feels to be free of this.
Now have your client look at the other person in the vision and describe to you how they are feeling now that they have been forgiven. Most commonly, the other person feels relief and begins to smile.
Now have your client explain to the other person what they have learned from this experience, what they know now and how they have grown as a result of going through this experience.
Now have your client thank the other person for coming into their vision today to heal this then release them out of the vision. Have your client let you know when they are completely gone.
5. Coming home
Now your client is left standing there looking at their younger self. Have your client describe to you how their younger self is doing now. Most commonly the younger self is happy and has relief. Now have your client let their younger-self know how hard life has been without them and that they need them back so that they can experience life again as a whole and complete person. Full of life, love, laughter, with the ability to trust again, to play, and to rerun to innocence.
Have your client ask their younger self now if they are willing to come home. Most commonly the younger self will say yes. Now just have your client open their arms and receive them home, welcome them back and feel them re-entering the body, the mind, and their energy field. Have the bask in how good that feels to have them home again.
If the younger-self says no or is scared or unsure, have your client talk to them and ask them why they are not ready. Have them ask their younger self what’s blocking them and walk them through it. Have your client explain to them that they are safe now. You may have to have your client explain to their younger-self what just happened and how you were able to heal it by forgiving them.
Once the younger-self has agreed to return home, give them a few minutes to enjoy this feeling.
6. Integrity restored
Now have your client return their awareness back to the area in their body where they were once carrying it and ask them what they see now. Most commonly, they will say there’s nothing there, it’s gone or it’s a lighter color. Often, they will see the sun. Sometimes I have them ask it if it was able to fully heal from this experience today. If yes, great, if no, ask them what is still there.
Sometimes I will have them send love to the area until it is fully healed and have the client let you know when it is complete. But don’t be afraid to relook at it again because sometimes there is more that needs healing in regards to that particular situation. Sometimes this could turn out to be an entirely different session. If that is the case, I would wait and do it at a later time because it can be too much or too overwhelming for them to do so much in one session. Allow what they just went through to process for a couple of days before doing another session. Just let them know that you can look at that in your next session a continue closing this session.
Now have them gently, slowly and carefully begin to return back to their body and return to this time and space, slowly opening their eyes. Sometimes the client will describe their sight as being more vibrant and clear. You can explain to them that this is a result of raising their vibration by healing and letting go of the lower vibrational emotions.
Thank your client for being so strong and willing to heal themselves today. Have them take it easy for a few days and allow the healing to fully integrate into the body.